i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
