id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
