Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
