fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
