I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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