he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
