I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
