Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
