Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
