..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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