If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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