Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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