those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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