You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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