He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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