Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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