There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
