I got chris browned last night
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
