it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
