I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
