I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
