I am puke
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
