During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you had me at cake vodka
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
