Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
