i already hear my dad disowning me
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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