He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
