Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
