Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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