I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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