is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So much rum. So many feels.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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