I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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