I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Randomize
