I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
