If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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