my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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