check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
