This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
