I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
