So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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