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ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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