Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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