if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Mom said you looked used
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
