I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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