I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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