so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
