His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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