Dual....:-)
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
