Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
