Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
