Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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